Letting Go of Control: The Taoist Way to a Lighter Mind
What if your thoughts didn’t have to hold the steering wheel all the time?
Somewhere along the road of growing up, many of us were taught that to be responsible means to be in control of our future, our emotions, our relationships, our productivity. Control became synonymous with safety. And letting go? That was something we associated with giving up or failing.
But Taoist philosophy flips that on its head.
In the Tao Te Ching, Laozi reminds us that the more we try to control life, the more life resists. The harder we grip, the less we hold. Instead of obsessing over controlling outcomes, Taoism invites us to align with the flow of life, the Tao which is not something to be understood with logic, but felt through presence.
Letting go of control doesn’t mean becoming passive or indifferent. It means realizing that not everything is meant to be pushed into shape. A plant doesn't grow faster because you yell at it. Rain doesn’t stop because you’re not ready for it.
Your thoughts don’t have to solve everything either.
So what does it mean to let go practically?
To pause before reacting.
To accept that uncertainty is not your enemy.
To trust that sometimes clarity comes when you stop trying to force it.
Zhuangzi, another Taoist sage, shared stories that were part-parable, part-poem, often with a dash of absurdity. In one, he tells of a man so afraid of his own shadow that he ran and ran, trying to escape it only to tire and collapse. The solution? Sit still. Let the shadow fall where it may.
That story stayed with me.
We spend so much time trying to think our way out of chaos that we don’t realize the thinking itself is what’s tightening the knot. What if the path forward isn’t about finding more control but releasing it?
Letting go of control sounds like:
“I don’t know what will happen and I’m okay with that.”
“I’ve done my part. Now I trust life to do the rest.”
“I don’t need all the answers right now.”
You don’t have to be a monk in the mountains to practice this. You just need to soften your grip. Take a breath. Say, “Maybe I don’t need to figure this out today.” And see what happens when you stop trying so hard.
Sometimes the most intelligent thing your mind can do is get out of the way.
Very good advice! Sometimes the best thing for us is to do is stop trying so hard and do nothing.